Move in with me by Sam Pink

move in with me. i am lonely. we can watch television together. we'll laugh at people who make funny observations. they'll say stuff like, "wow, celery is crazy huh?" we'll laugh together and feel closer after having shared something. but in my mind i'll doubt everything i hear you say. i will consider myself through your reactions. when you get hungry, i'll make you food. you'll say, "man i could go for..." and i'll make it. i'll put little pieces of glass in the food. and your mouth will flood with blood. you'll tell me something that happened to you during the day and every word will sound pathetic coming through your swollen and cut lips and tongue. i'll say, "don't talk with your mouth full; it makes you look impolite." you'll put your head in my lap after we eat and i'll put my hands over your face and touch it. my hands will feel heavy on your face. you'll get really uncomfortable and ask to take a shower to clean the feeling off.. we'll take a shower together and i'll pinch your butt. you'll laugh. i'll let myself slip to the floor of the shower. the water will roam your back and slip from your ass and hit me in the face. i'll drink the water before it enters the drain. there will be a lot of hair clogging the drain. i'll take it out and put it on my lips like a goatee and i'll act like a middle aged man who has a goatee. i'll wear sandals and a shirt that says the name of a town in mexico. i'll kiss you on the lips with my goatee. you will turn the faucet to cold and my heart will hiccup. i'll feel afraid. i'll get angry with the drain for stealing my water. i'll follow you into my room. while you're toweling off i'll lock the door and say, "pray to your god it's time to suffer. sit on the bed i want to make you level-eyed with my nigthmare. when i am through with you, the room will be ashamed to have seen what i did." then i'll pause before saying, "just kidding." and i'll jump on the bed. you'll say, "your balls look funny." i'll respond, "like 'family circus' funny or what?" we'll have sex and i'll talk dirty even though talking dirty is lame. i have my own version of talking dirty. i'll say things like, "i come rust." or "when i kissed my dead great grandmother, her forehead was cold and waxy." when we're done, i'll clean myself with some tissue paper and the tissue paper will stick to me. i'll hop around like a white-tailed deer. you'll put on an orange coat and paint your face with camouflage. you'll say, "come here little deer; i won't hurt you." then you'll shoot me in the neck and there will be a huge hole in my neck and the blood will leak into my throat. we'll sit back down because between every action there is quiet awkwardness. "paint my toes," you'll eventually say, your voice sounding way too loud against the quiet. i'll hold your feet in my hands and feel like crushing the bones. i'll say, "you have nice feet, would you mind if i crushed them with a hammer or a dumbbell?" you'll laugh and ask me to turn off the lights so we can sleep. i'll turn off the lights and lay down next to you. you'll fall asleep faster than me. it will rain. the rain will beat the window. i'll open the window and hold out a glass. the glass will fill with rain; i will drink it. i will put lipstick on and spit all over my groin. i'll feel like obliterating myself--putting leaves underneath my eyelids--going outside and laying down and drowning in a puddle. i will wish in painful quiet for you to wake up so i won't be alone and want to do things that most people consider aberrant. but you'll sleep and i will wait, wishing to be relieved if only for a second of the mounting weight that wipes its feet at my door every night.

Zombie Girl by The Terrordactyls.




Sam Pink blogs at Kill Yourself.

Photo by Adam Lawrence - please visit for artists' links.

The Terrordactyls are Michael Cadiz and Tyrel Stendahl and they are seperated by the width of the United States, one lives in Washington, while the other in Maryland. Yet they have managed to come together and produce a charming handmade debut. That's right these two, with the help of one friend, put together 1,000 copies of their self-titled album by hand. An album which also features an intimate duet with the indie legend Kimya Dawson of Juno fame. The album is filled cute stories of the sweet sadness of love and life, and can be downloaded for free from the website. However, This Zine Will Change Your Life recommends paying the $10 for the handmade, pop-up filled edition. For an interview with The Terrordactyls please go here.